A Wolf Inside Of Me

by malurtins
(Rio de Janeiro, RJ. Brazil. )

Sometimes I feel like there is a wolf inside of me, a really bad and mysterious wolf.
A wolf who tries to make my life miserable, who points out every mistake I make.
It lives inside of me.
A one-to-one conversation with myself.
All my troubles are so alive.
Alive like the wind, alive like the breeze of the air, like the deep, profound ocean. Alive like human beings.
Suddenly it comes to peace. It's seeming like everything is gone. All the little concerns are suddenly gone by the dull sound of thunder and they seem to never come back.
A peaceful light comes out, and without perspiring I slowly breathe. I feel all of my body doing the right movements. The air is taken by my nose and I breathe.
The air comes to my lungs, and I breathe. I try to figure things out. I see that things have a solution. Finally.
I see how happiness can be cheerful.
I feel faithful. I feel strong. I feel like it was meant to be.
The rain is pouring down on my hair, my clothes get wet, and my mistakes are gone. I want to be a better person and I want to feel that I did something good for humanity. How difficult is that? How difficult it is to manage your issues and go through some really disturbing thoughts and acknowledgments?
Knowing that all the good you have the capacity of doing and yet you do not move even a little finger.
A little hooded girl, that's what I see myself like.
A little girl is all there is. A wet little girl who is fighting with the wolf. She at least thinks of fighting with him, but she doesn't fight herself, she does not use her bare hands. She wears a red cape that she feels protected with.
She didn't sleep for days trying to figure out how to kill this wolf. All can she think about is how lonely she looks in the forest. The forest is cold and dark and no one is there. The red-hooded girl kills the wolf afterward.
The trendiness pleasurably comes alive in this story although she doesn't want to wake up on the next day.