Funny Thanksgiving Poems

The first of the funny Thanksgiving poems on this page is Turkey Turkey. Here's a hint: it's all about the soy. Scroll down for the text of the poem.

Funny Thanksgiving poem by Denise Rodgers on ClassroomPoems.com.

TURKEY, TURKEY
Turkey, Turkey,
full and fat.
November's near.
You'll soon go splat!
They'll roast you up
and slice you thin.
Oh, what a mess
you're surely in.
Mixed with stuffing
and some sauce.
It's plain to see
the cook is boss.
But what would truly
give you joy. . .
would be a turkey
made of soy!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
All rights reserved.
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Funny Thanksgiving Poem #2

The second poem was inspired by my mother-in-law who insisted on bringing her turkey to our Thanksgiving meal despite several pointed conversations several days in advance, indicating it wasn't necessary. Normal families are boring, no? Enjoy.

TWO TURKEYS
We have two turkeys at our house
'cause Mom and Gramma fight.
Neither one of them believes
the other roasts it right.
There's also two of stuffing,
two of home-made berry sauce.
Let's face it, there are two of each,
'cause both of them are boss.
We eat it all , some food from both,
in order to be nice.
We also make quite sure that when
we burp -- that we burp twice!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
All rights reserved.
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Funny Turkey Day Poem #3

The next funny Thanksgiving poems is all about the turkey. In this case, it's no turkey . This is a poem for my dad, who just wouldn't eat that turkey!

NO TURKEY
My father hates Thanksgiving.
It's all about the stuffing.
He says it smells like day-old socks.
So on his plate goes nothing.

He grits his teeth and goes to bed.
It gives my mother grief.
I think next year, this holiday,
instead we'll eat roast beef!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
All rights reserved.
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Funny Thanksgiving Poem #4

I wrote the last of these poems ages ago -- before I had children. (I have grandkids now; it's been a while.) This poem was inspired by my dad, who really did grow up in Poland. He was a city boy, lived in Krakow. But when his family went to the countryside, he was chased by wild turkeys, who apparently enjoyed nipping him in the butt.

I could never understand why this would prevent him from eating the bird. After all, wouldn't revenge be sweet? In the mean time, please enjoy the next funny Thanksgiving poem.

THE TURKEY GIVES THANKS
Thanksgiving is my favorite feast.
The table's set, the napkins creased.
We always have a great big crowd
With uncles, aunts and children loud.

The grownups shoo us to our chairs
With pushing hands and parent stares.
We wait to eat -- but this part's quirky.
Our main dish is never, ever turkey!

Our grandpa will not eat this bird.
On this he gave his solemn word.
Years ago when he was young,
He vowed it not to pass his tongue.

As a boy, he lived beside
The rolling Polish countryside.
The turkeys (this is so unkind)
Would chase and bite his small behind.

So even though it's quite the norm,
He shuns the bird in every form.
I understand how grandpa feels
And how it's changed his life-long meals.

But me, I'd rather take attack.
Once a year, I'd bite them back!