Funny School Poems

The first of the funny school poems deals with those brave and underpaid souls who spend their days on the front lines, substituting for absent teachers. I think they deserve a special poem, just for them. Don't you?

Substitute
Hurray! We heard our teacher
cannot be with us today.
Instead, we'll have a substitute.
(We'll make her earn her pay.)

Michael will throw spit wads,
and Brandon will eat chalk.
Patrick will poke David,
and all of us will talk.

We smiled and laughed with pleasure
as these thoughts filled every head,
until we found our teacher
sent the principal instead!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
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Art by Julie Martin

Funny School Poem Number Two

The Dog Ate My Homework
The dog ate my homework
just like it was kibble.
He started up slow
with a cute little nibble
and then scarfed it down
with a burp and a snort.
How was he to know
that my special report
was due here this morning
precisely at 8:00.
So now it is eaten.
I'm sorry it's late.
But what can you do
when your dog needs a snack
and your stapled report
comes under attack?
I told him to stop
but he just wouldn't mind.
When my dog is hungry,
he's not very kind.
I'll bring it tomorrow,
and you'll see it then.
So long as my dog
isn't hungry again.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright©Denise Rodgers
Permissions
Art by Julie Martin

Funny School Poem Number Three

Yes, I Ate His Homework
Yes, I ate his homework.
You think I'm a liar!
So kind of you, teacher,
to go and inquire.
It's just that when hungry,
despite what you think,
there's nothing more tasty
than paper and ink,
unless it's some slippers
or brand-new soft shoes,
or maybe a sheet
of some basted raw chews.
I ate all the homework
and part of the couch.
There's so much to eat
and I'm hardly a slouch.
So that is my story.
I'll swear that it's true.
Excuse me for now,
I have text books to chew.