Funny Birthday Rhymes

Funny birthday rhymes are a wonderful way to kick off a birthday celebration. I have a great time writing all my poems and I am thrilled to share them with you.

Feel free to copy the rhyme of your choice and present it to your special someone. Please see our terms of use.

If you're looking for a unique birthday gift for a special person in your life, consider the gift of humor, and check out a funny poetry book. They are the perfect gift for all ages, for kids and adults alike.

The first of the funny birthday rhymes on this page is "Delicious Birthdays." The illustration (done by yours truly) speaks for itself.

Delicious Birthdays
Birthdays are delicious,
But they come just once a year.
The happy part is chocolate cake.
The tough part is the mirror.

You might be getting wrinkled,
But the best part – this is true,
You may be getting older,
But your friends are older too!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers 

A Whimsical and Funny Birthday Rhyme

Here is another funny birthday poem that works just as well with the same birthday cake illustration. This is a friendly and romantic one, and perhaps a bit more whimsical than funny. Enjoy!

If
If I were the cake for your birthday,
And you were a white plastic spoon,
If I were the wrap on your gift box,
Chances are, our paths would cross soon.

If I was the rich chocolate frosting
That tasted so good on your tongue,
Then chances are good that we'd be very close,
Both feeling quite luscious and young.

But I'm not your favorite icing
Or frosting, or spoon, that is true.
But you are my favorite person
Who's spending your birthday with you!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers 
All Rights Reserved

Edgy Humorous Birthday Poem

If you're looking for a humorous birthday poem, especially one that is a tad edgy -- edgy DOES make for humor -- read on. Please be careful with the edgy humor. Share this short poem ONLY with a family member or friend with a very good sense of humor. It IS their birthday, so it's time to be kind!

You’re A Mess
Happy Birthday!
You’re a mess.
Your house and car?
Complete distress.
Your face? Your smile?
Both somewhat faded.
Your taste? Your style?
A bit outdated.

I’m here to tell you
What’s the score.
(What else are loving best friends for?)

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers 
All Rights Reserved

A Downright Mean (but funny) Birthday Rhyme

Why is it that funny birthday poems are so edgy? (By edgy, what I'm really saying is, "mean.") Well, that's one way to make them funny. When everything in the poem is complimentary and nice (and expected), well, it just isn't a humorous birthday poem.

With that fact in mind, here is the following funny birthday rhyme, "Getting Better."

Getting Better
You’re not getting older,
“Just better,”
that’s the verse.
But let’s be kind of honest,
When you age,
You just get worse.

Your neckline sags,
Your eyelids bag,
Your posture gets the bends.

The one thing you can count on
Is the kindness of your friends!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers 
All Rights Reserved

DO NOT SHARE this Funny Birthday Rhyme
(it's too mean!)

The last of the humorous birthday poems on this page is NOT to be shared with anyone, even if you absolutely detest them! It is unkind at best, and truly a bit nasty. I wrote it to mark the birthday of someone that I (obviously) didn't at all like at the time. Today I wouldn't give it to this person. (But the poem itself is delicously nasty, and that's why I'm sharing it with you.)

Why don't you read it to yourself and IMAGINE sending it to someone you don't like. This could be very cathartic.

Happy Birthday (You’re a Fool)
Happy Birthday!
You’re a fool.
I can’t say that I like you.
Today you’re one year older, and 
I say this just to spite you.

Your hair is thin and old and gray.
Your teeth are kind of yellow.
And, despite your growing years,
I can’t say that you’ve mellowed.

Happy Birthday.
Go away!
And please leave me alone.
Every time I see you
I give out a silent groan.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers 
All Rights Reserved

But wait, there's more! If you haven't yet found just the right funny birthday rhyme or funny birthday poem, you might find it right here!

More Funny Birthday Rhymes 

Free 40th Birthday Poems

50th Birthday Jokes and Poems

80th Birthday Poems