Grandmother Poems

All the Grandmother Poems on his page begin with, "Have you heard of . . . " This is a wonderful device to rev up the creative muse. There is rhythm and a sense of fun right at the start.

While these poems are a bit off-beat, if your grandmother has a good sense of humor, she just might get a kick out of them.

Remember, you are free to copy these poems for your personal use -- but you do require permission to use them for commercial purposes. Please see our terms of use

Grandmother Poem #1

The first poem on this page is about Mary. Mary is, shall we say, a bit uptight.

Here is her poem:

Grandma Mary
Have you heard of Grandma Mary?
Always watchful, always wary.
Wears a nightstick on her belt,
A rescue whistle wrapped in felt.
She’s a woman somewhat scary.
Cheerful, fearful, Grandma Mary.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved
Art courtesy of www.thesilvercompany.com.

Poem #2

The next example is about Kate. She is a young-at-heart grandma who likes her exercise. But her diet leaves a bit to be desired.

Grandma Kate
Have you heard of Grandma Kate?
Bicycles across the state,
Has a backpack filled with soda,
Rides all day to meet her quota.
Stops a while to take a slurp,
And as she rides, you’ll hear her burp.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved
Photo courtesy of Julien Hery

Poem #3

The next is about Gramma Joan, who is about to be sucked right into her TV set. A fervent fan of The Shopping Network, this lady has found a home in her TV set.

Grandma Joan
Have you heard of Grandma Joan?
Now that her ten kids are grown,
She spends each day with her TV
With soaps and scores and shopping sprees.
So Grandpa pays with silent moan.
That glazed-eyed, crazed-eyed Grandma Joan.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved
Photo by Denise Rodgers

Poem #4

So many children would like to have a grandmother like Lisa, who loves pizza!

Grandma Lisa
Have you heard of Grandma Lisa?
Likes to feed her family pizza.
Orders from the corner store.
Every day she orders more,
All to keep her family pleased.
Instead, they’re mozzarella cheesed.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved
Art courtesy of A. Currell

If you enjoyed the
Grandmother Poems
on this page, please go to my
HOME PAGE
for a collection of funny poems on many topics.

Or you may go directly to

Mother's Day Poems

Funny Family Poems

Funny Birthday Rhymes